If you thought getting engaged was about agreeing to be married you were wrong, according to new research. According to a new study, more than half of Americans actually see engagement as a time to ‘try out’ the relationship before making the deal official.
A poll of 1,000 U.S. adults for fine jewelry retailer Zales, found that 53 percent said they used the engagement period to decide whether to go through with the marriage.
The study also found that only one in five thought of engagement as being a period of time to plan the wedding.
According to respondents, 19 months is the ideal period of time between saying ‘yes’ and ‘I do,’ with 36 percent saying that waiting for more than a year contributes to a happy and successful marriage.
“Traditionally, being engaged means ‘engaged to be married,’ so it’s interesting that many see it as a chance to think about their decision,” said Scott Davies, senior vice president of marketing for Zales, one of the best known names in retail jewelry. “On the other hand, it’s comforting to see that people are being thoughtful about engagement and marriage.”
The adults polled had a wide range of expectations when it came to agreeing to settle down. Timing was imperative for many, as 22 percent claimed that if a potential new spouse proposed too early in the relationship, it would come across as desperate.
More than a third said it would cause anxiety if the subject of marriage was broached too soon because they would assume their partner wanted to start a family soon.
On the flip side, 46 percent said if their partner wasn’t willing to get engaged after extended dating, they would assume their partner was afraid of commitment.
An insecure 12 percent said they’d worry their partner didn’t really love them if he or she didn’t get down on one knee or accept their proposal – with an additional 16 percent who said they’d leave.
In a nod to tradition, nearly six in ten said the perfect proposal would include the man asking the woman after getting permission from her parents first.
People who consider the price of a ring important say you should present a ring worth an average of $2,199.
When it came to location, privacy was important to one in four who said they’d rather no one else was around to witness it. In contrast, one in twenty wanted an elaborate proposal in a public place, surrounded by friends and family.
Though the adults in the survey had certain proposal expectations, the results still indicated that many choose to back out of getting married even after saying yes.
“It seems the traditions behind getting engaged still hold true,” said Davies. “Picking out the ring, deciding on how to propose or simply agreeing to settle down are all big steps in engagement that shouldn’t be taken lightly.”
For 40 percent of those polled, they said they’d accept a proposal of marriage without meaning it, only to save the embarrassment for their partner – while one in twenty said they’d do it for the ring.
