Over a third of Americans in a relationship are not satisfied with their sex life, according to a new study.
The study of 1,000 American relationships saw 34 percent of people unable to rate their sex life as either “satisfying” or “very satisfying.”
One in six (16 percent) say their current spouse or partner rarely or never satisfies them sexually.
Women were twice as likely as men to describe their sex life as “boring” (12 percent vs. 5 percent), while interestingly, men were far more likely to describe their sex life as “erotic” than women (33 percent vs. 18 percent).
According to a new survey by EdenFantasys.com, the biggest barriers to a better sex life were a lack of foreplay, sex being over too quickly, and simple lack of communication.
Not having enough orgasms, only trying one or few sex positions, and a lack of oral play also made the top 10 most common reasons for sexual dissatisfaction, while for others, lack of cuddling was an issue.
The survey also found that action between the sheets typically lasts for 19 minutes, but results show that “ideally” it should last at least 23 minutes for men and women to be satisfied—22 percent longer than the current average time.
And while Americans have sex an average of 2.5 times a week, men would ideally like to have sex five times a week and women four times a week.
But both genders seem to agree that the best way for their partner to get them in a romantic mood when they’re not in the mood to begin with is as simple as a kiss.
Aside from kissing they differ in opinions with men saying the next best way is through lingerie or sexy attire followed by hugging, and women saying their second choice is hugging followed by going on a romantic dinner or date.
Fred Petrenko, owner of EdenFantasys said: “Our goal is to help people rediscover sex and empower lovers to achieve sexual harmony. In recent years, sex toys have become an increasingly popular solution for couples looking to spice up their sex lives. We see more and more people experimenting with toys, role playing, gender bending, BDSM. People are definitely opening up to new bedroom ideas to enhance sexual intimacy. “
If you’ve ever been too afraid to ask your partner how many people they’ve slept with, you might not have to. The survey found that on average, men sleep with 16 partners, while women sleep with an average of 10.
While 19 percent of Americans say they would be too shy to ask their partner to include the use of sex toys, two thirds think sex toys are acceptable.
Those who do use sex toys believe the main purpose is to supplement the penis, and 46 percent of respondents are more concerned about their functions than aesthetics or stylization.
That said, only 34 percent would be happy giving a sex toy as a gift, and 43 percent would be happy to receive one, even though 49 percent say it would make their sex lives more pleasurable.
Respondents also found that other ways to make your sex life satisfying is through foreplay, communication, different sex positions, oral play, cuddling, frequent orgasms, and a confident partner.
When it comes to honesty, 83 percent of respondents say they’re honest with their partner about how satisfied they are with their sex life, but 35 percent also claim to have been so unsatisfied that they’ve come up with excuses to not have sex.
The top excuses are tiredness, not feeling well or pain, headaches, having to get up early the next day, or having your period or cramps. On the extreme, three in eight respondents say they’ve even gone so far as pretending to be asleep to avoid sex.
Another issue that hinders sexual pleasure is personal insecurity: 65 percent of respondents related concerns about their performance in bed, worries or doubts about body image, and wondering whether or not they were “doing something right.”
Distractedness during sex isn’t as uncommon as you might think: 31 percent of people admit they’ve about someone other than their partner during sex; 30 percent wonder if other people can hear, and 20 percent worry if their partner is actually enjoying it.
Fred Petrenko added, “Even with all the new and exciting toys and props available to help people improve their sex lives, communication between partners and lack of intimacy remain the biggest challenges to maintaining healthy relationships over time. That’s why at EdenFantasys we not only sell sex toys, we nurture an active, accepting community where people can share concerns, ask questions, and get helpful feedback about every aspect of sexuality and relationships.“
Top 10 Fantasies
- Receiving oral sex
- Having sex outside
- Role play
- Being dominated
- Being tied up
- Having sex with a celebrity
- Anal sex
- Watching each other masturbate
- Ménage à trois (threesome)
Top 10 things people would like to change/incorporate into their sex life
- More sex positions
- Sex toys
- Longer intercourse
- Change of venues/rooms
- Dirty talk
- Other people
- Shorter intercourse
TOP 10 THINGS THAT LEAD TO BAD SEX
- Lack of foreplay
- It's over too quickly
- No communication
- Rarely or never orgasm
- One or few sex positions
- No oral play
- No cuddling
- No talking/moaning
- Partner is not open to change
- Partner lacks confidence
***This random double-opt-in survey was conducted by OnePoll, a market research company and corporate member of ESOMAR and adheres to the MRS code of conduct. For more information about One Poll’s research in the media, navigate to their portfolio here: http://www.onepoll.com/in-the-media/. This survey of 1000 US adults in a relationship was conducted between August 09, 2017, and August 16, 2017, by Market Researchers OnePoll and commissioned by EdenFantasys.